I accidentally made a coffee and now I have to wait to do my meditation or I won't be able to get into the present moment, away from all my temporal and materialistic wants (like another sip of coffee...)
So while I have my coffee, I thought I'd write some thoughts I've been having this morning as I prepare to call in an unknown future full of awe and possibility. ✨🧘🏼♀️
They go like this:
Why are any of us resisting the thing we know we want?
Like, I had this feeling keep coming up that I want to be in quaint, or exotic, or exciting locations, waking up there in luxury, sipping some warm morning drink (Ok, sipping coffee probably), and preparing to go out and be creative with my camera and other creative folks.
This flash of a vision keeps coming to me and then I would close it down every time, because I live in LA and I don't want to give up my home base and the only way I know how to have that thing I described above is how I've done it before... which is :::alone:::, financing it on my own, worrying about how to make money when I'm not allowed to work on a tourist visa, with no home base anywhere, feeling like I can't actually deeply invest in anything, anywhere, or anyone.
So, in essence, a desire is coming through me (which, btw, I think is obviously a message from God about what I'm meant to do). And I'm comparing it to my past experience and determining that I don't want to pursue it because I'm juggling all these ideas of scarcity and associated problems.
I was laying in bed with Micah the other night and we were about to go to sleep and I had been frustrated with him about something and he was, in turn, frustrated with me, and I just felt done with the loop we kept finding ourselves in, so I asked him, "What do you need from me? What can I do?"
He replied, "Stop looking for problems in everything."
And BAM!!! it hit me. I go, "You're right," and I really meant it. My life flashed before my eyes and I really got it. This thing, looking for problems, is literally the only reason things don't go well for me sometimes.
So I stopped. It's like something just broke in me... the limited little loop I'd been traveling around in a circle on for years just broke and I had to go somewhere else with my thoughts.
There is no point in shutting down these voices of desire as they arise in us. I know, I know, we do it because we're afraid of what it means, afraid we'll be devastated if we admit we want it and then we don't get to have it, afraid of how it will disrupt our known circumstances.
However... I believe that acknowledging the desire, getting super specific about it, and allowing ourselves to feel how it feels to actually have it... doing this will actually make this possibility possible. It might even just drop the thing in our laps without us having to make much effort.
But we have to stay in the energy of it. And banish the problem oriented energy each and every time it comes up.
Open to possibility, truly, and it is abundant and available.
Photo: Micah
In frame: Me